One of my daughters posts words of wisdom frequently. These really hit home for me this week. I received an e-mail from a friend that was nothing short of devastating.
I admit that I live a very "charmed" life. I have always been surrounded by amazing and positive people. Cruelty is a word that never enters my mind. In fact, I can literally count on one hand the times that someone has been truly mean to me.
The e-mail pointed out many of my faults with no kindness intermixed to soften the blows. I literally spent the next couple of days in tears. Although many of the statements were true, they were presented in such a manner that I can't erase the words from my heart.
One of my greatest faults (and apparently I have many more I wasn't even aware of...:) ) is judging others. As a mom and a youth leader, I feel that I walk a tight line. I want to instill values, but I need to encourage more. I tend to look at others in life in a blanket form, not always looking or understanding the complete picture.
I think God used this e-mail to truly open my eyes to others' needs. When I think of women and children (or men, of course) that are in abusive or abrasive relationships, my heart literally breaks. Children that are bullied every day now are at the forefront of my thoughts. When I think of the way I felt when I read that letter I know that that is something I never hope to experience again, but I was able to rush into the arms of a loving husband and be reassured by my family. Bible passages literally popped up everywhere, comforting me with words of true love. What about those victims that have no where to run?
As I drove home yesterday from a great day, I felt a peace. I am trying to apply the words of truth from this person to my life, and I am giving the rest to God to sort through. I prayed for this person (which I must say is much easier said than done), and I hope that I use this experience to be a much kinder and encouraging person.
So, in the words of my wise child, "Be careful of your words... they are often difficult to take back or soften." Look out for the under dog, be kind, and let God do the judging. Blessings.
Georgiann, thanks for this. I want to share a little:
ReplyDeletehttp://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/03/19/17375404-training-aims-to-improve-how-military-sexual-assaults-are-investigated?lite
The above referenced article features my ex-brother-in-law, Russell Strand, who is more a brother to me than ever. His wife posted this article the other day on FB. I read it, then the comments at the end.
I found the comments to be profoundly negative, and interpreted them as being attacks against Russell. I was offended and posted that I love the article but hated the comments, stating that the commenters were talking out of their posteriors.
I was corrected, given the understanding that these who commented in fact were victims of assault who were not a part of the program Russell is developing and trying to push in the military and thus were unable to benefit from Russell's program. I came to realize that I was in fact the one talking out of my tuckas in response. I came to realize that I was the judgmental one in this case, having not known all the facts involved.
It is so easy to be judgmental, to forget that we have not lived in the shoes of others. No matter how blessed or charmed your life may have been, or how cursed - if that is a proper term to use. It doesn't matter. We only have lived with our own lives and know only what we personally know and experience, and everything else is, imho, hearsay.
Your child is wise. I will try to remember those words in my life as I interact with others. But I will also learn to forgive myself and ask forgiveness when I see I am "speaking out of my a--" as it were.
I appreciate your blog, Georgiann. Thanks for sharing.